It manifests in my life as overwhelm + mental blocks + self-doubt. And it equals this:
Mentally, that’s where I’m at as I type. Tuesday, 7:40 pm. Less than 24 hours before I’ll publish this blog.
Waiting until now to start writing makes me nervous, but lately I’ve been struggling to balance life. And it’s my work that I’ve neglected.
See, a big shift’s on its way . . .
My family and I are moving to Charlotte, NC this summer. And my focus has been turning toward the lengthy path of prepping + packing + tending to emotions, all while still living our full lives here in St. Louis.
That’s a lot.
Usually I’ve got a blog topic by Monday, and if I don’t, a random flash of inspiration hits by mid-Tuesday. But this week I’ve got nothing.
Bits of ideas that weren’t quite ripe, but nothing ready to prep and serve to you.
Which leads to the last part of the equation—doubting my ability and suitability to do this work. Do I have time for We Bold Souls, given what’s coming at me the next five months? Am I going to have enough free brain space to create good stuff? Am I really the right person for the job?
So put those three parts—overwhelm, mental blocks, self-doubt—together and you get a funk. And since I’m still waiting for that inspirational lightning bolt, I’m concluding that dealing with the blues is what I’m meant to write about.
So here goes . . .
If I view this funk through my present-and-grateful filter, this is what I see:
I’m feeling defeated because I don’t know how I’ll do everything.
But I’m grateful that when I’m feeling this way, life ironically slows down a bit. When it’s nearly impossible to do it all–and stay sane and healthy–I’m free to release the idea that I can do it all.
And, instead, my mind naturally lands on the present. On what I’m doing right now, on what I can do.
I’m still moving forward, but it’s more peaceful, intentional progress not driven by unrealistic finish lines.
So to help keep this present-and-grateful filter in place, I scanned my Instagram favorites file for inspiration. Two photos of poem excerpts brought it all home for me:
From Mary Oliver’s poem “I Worried,”
. . . Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
And from author Iain Thomas in I Wrote This For You: 2007-2017,
And every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling, “This is important! . . . You need to worry about this! And this! And this!” And each day, it’s up to you to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say, “No, this is what’s important.”2
We all feel low sometimes, but funky town isn’t designed to be a forever home. So however the “funk equation” manifests in your life, feel all the feelings, learn from the tough lessons, and boldly keep going.
You’ll find me trekking right beside you . . .
(Please note that this blog post isn’t referring to clinical depression or cases in which professional help and/or medication may be needed.)
What are the parts of your “funk equation” and what’s guided you out of it? Help others by sharing your struggles or successes below!