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The Identity of Change: Inner vs. Outer

“The Desk”

It rests in a corner of my living room, close enough to see a view of the yard through the nearby sliding glass doors. With a carved wooden border and detailed metal knobs, it’s a stunning secretary desk that gets only more beautiful knowing it used to be my grandpa’s. During the sixteen years it’s been with me, the desk has served three important roles: Read more

Phone Vs. Family—How to Win The Battle for Presence

Friend or Enemy?

“How can I be present with my family when my phone is dinging in the background?”

I bet most of us can second this question I received from a recent workshop attendee. It’s that urgent feeling of needing to know who’s texted or whether someone’s emailed back yet or how many people have commented on our latest post.

We can’t turn our phones off, because “what if someone needs us?” but we also can’t get these urges out of our heads until we feed our curiosity what it wants. Kind of like sugar cravings. And when checking our phones is as easy as popping a chocolate square, why wait? Read more

The Best Lesson from the Worst Job

The dynamic duo of “plus and delta”!

What’s the best thing you’ve taken from a job you hated? And not those pens you stole. Instead, something you learned there that’s been helpful in life.

Mine? Hands down, it’s the concept of + and Δ.

I remember sitting in a conference room after surviving a big biotech audit, and seeing on a poster two columns, one titled “+” and the other “Δ”.

Plus (+), as you’ve likely guessed, was home for everything that had gone well—team coordination, response time, logistics, etc.

Delta (Δ) took on the role it often does in math and science, denoting change. So anything people felt had room for improvement went here.

Notice anything missing? Read more

Three Steps for Riding the Wave of Transition

I thought I had things under control since I’d been living with presence and gratitude for a few years. But preschool graduation was just days away and there it was, that lump in my throat that foreshadows tears.


It couldn’t be happening because right there on my mantra card it says:

“When we have fully lived and appreciated the moments in the everyday and in the exceptional, reflection on the past brings satisfaction. Regret and longing soften. And from a place of peace, we enter the next moment of our lives.”

I’d been living and appreciating lots of my moments and had expected to meet graduation with a peaceful smile. I’d done just that when my daughter lost her first tooth—no tears, just joy. So why was this milestone different? And does that mean what I’m preaching is ineffective? Read more